2012 was a hard year for me. I lost the most important person in my life, my grandfather. 2012 marked the one year mark of that. I’ve change so much since then. I hate who I Became in 2012. It’d was a scared, angry, bitter person. Never in my life have I ever really so alone. Who I became cost me a very dear friendship… one I’d had for 14 years. Almost cost me another frienship that would’ve killed me to lose. But…. once charged a lot in the past three months. I’m happy… getting back to who I was. Only better. I was able to save one of my friends that I almost lost… to that person I’m so grateful they were able to forgive me for what I did. And as for me getting better… there will always be a bitter se! D planted in me because of my grandfathers death… but I’m learning to dreadful. I’m grateful for the people in my life… one person in particular… I’m so grateful to good for sending him to me when I needed him most…. I will learn to accept the police hate had to give me. I have many resolutions… and once I get them unscrambled in my head ill wrote them down and do my best everyday to make them a reality. Here’s to a new year. The first time I’ve ever really cared.
Its the small things in life like having enough steamed milk left over for a short hot chocolate for the barista that make me happy :)
I miss you.
Yesterday I dreamed about you. I dreamed you were back. I don’t how you were but you were. You were sitting in the big chair in moms living room, covered in a blanket just like when you first got sick. I was sitting on the coffee table talking to my friend and she was on the sofa. I saw you and went omg you’re back!!! I kept asking her if she saw you, and she said yea then would try to carry on the conversation like it didnt matter you were there. You were saying something and I couldn’t hear you. Then you kept hiding under the blanket.
I haven’t seen you in 9 months. I haven’t heard your voice or seen your smile. I honestly thought by now I would’ve heard your voice or something. I don’t know why, but I just did. When I woke up, I swear I thought you were really back. I was so happy….. so so happy.
I. Miss. You. So. Much.
Turn turn my wheel! All thomas much changer to something new to something strange
Nothing that is can pause or stay.
The moon will wax the moon will wane.the mist and cloud will turn to rain
The rain to cloud to mist again.
And tomorrow be today!
Semper ad meliora
Haste the day
The word alive
Pierce the veil
The automn effect
it dies today
Dead man in Reno
Here I come falling.
Armor for sleep
The Hell song
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